(author unknown) I was at the checkout of a local store. The cashier rang up $46.64 in charges. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in my favor. She became indignant and informed me … Continue reading They Walk Among Us
Comedy
Squirrels in the Church
(author unknown) The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will. At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The … Continue reading Squirrels in the Church
The Three-Legged Chicken
(author unknown) A man was driving down a rural country road one afternoon, going about 40mph, when he noticed a chicken running along the road, keeping pace with his car. "Hmm, that's weird," he thought to himself. "I wonder what would happen if I sped up?" Pressing the accelerator, he increased the speed to 50mph. … Continue reading The Three-Legged Chicken
Grandchildren and Grandparents
(author unknown) 1. I was in the bathroom, putting on my makeup, under the watchful eyes of my young granddaughter, as I'd done many times before. After I applied my lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick … Continue reading Grandchildren and Grandparents
How to Avoid Mixing Your Metaphors
(by Brian Bilston) It's not rocket surgery.First, get all your ducks on the same page.After all, you can't make an omelettewithout breaking stride. Be sure to watch what you writewith a fine-tuned comb.Check and re-check until the cows turn blue.It's as easy as falling off a piece of cake. Don't worry about opening upa whole … Continue reading How to Avoid Mixing Your Metaphors
The Language of the Bar
(author unknown) An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars. A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly. A bar was walked into by the passive voice. An oxymoron walked into a … Continue reading The Language of the Bar
Legal Tender
(by Jim Forrest) On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 … Continue reading Legal Tender
Calvin and Hobbes – The Final Chapter
(author unknown; based on the characters in the "Calvin and Hobbes" cartoon strip as created by Bill Watterson) "Calvin? Calvin, sweetheart?" In the darkness Calvin heard the sound of Susie, his wife of fifty-three years. Calvin struggled to open his eyes. He was so tired and it took so much strength. Slowly, light replaced the … Continue reading Calvin and Hobbes – The Final Chapter
High School Reunion
(fictional story, author unknown) My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with the new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma which showed his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class … Continue reading High School Reunion
The Angry Driver
(author unknown) The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the … Continue reading The Angry Driver
Principled Thoughts 