The Whistler was an American radio mystery drama which ran from May 16, 1942, until September 22, 1955, on the west-coast regional CBS Radio network. For many of those years, it was sponsored by the Signal Oil Company.
On June 19, 1949, Signal began featuring limericks in their Whistler advertisements. Listeners enjoyed these so much that they wrote their own and sent them in to Signal. Signal would feature listener-written limericks each week until the promotion ended on April 9, 1950. If a listener’s limerick was read on the air, the listener would receive a prize, usually a $20.00 coupon book good for gasoline at Signal stations.
Some weeks, two or three limericks would be featured.
Every limerick included during this promotion is included here except one. The February 5, 1950 episode “Ladies Man” exists only as an Armed Forces Radio Service rebroadcast. All commercials were removed before the AFRS would rebroadcast an episode for armed services personnel. The original network version has not been located to date.
“That Physical Fact” – June 19, 1949
There once was a driver who set forth in his car,
But wound up on a bicycle’s handlebar.
For he ran out of fuel,
An experience most cruel.
With Signal he would have gone farther by far.
“Final Decree” – June 26, 1949
There once was an actress whose name was Eileen,
Who ran out of gas and missed her big scene.
She’s now washing dishes,
And oh, how she wishes
She’d used Signal, the Go-Farther gasoline.
“Panic on Mulberry Street” – July 3, 1949
There once was a driver who plastered his car
With every new gadget, including radar.
The car was a riot,
No one could deny it,
But without Signal gas he could never go far.
“Front Man” – July 10, 1949
There once was a husband who stayed out ‘til two,
His alibi – out of gas – was really true.
His wife listened, and then
Said, “That won’t happen again.
From now on, it’s Signal Go-Farther gas for you!”
“Death in Sixteen Millimeter” – July 17, 1949
There once was a man from Portland O,
Whose car was sluggish and mighty slow.
‘Til he tried his first tankful
Of Signal Ethyl, and is he thankful
Now that old car has real get up and go!
“The Hermit” – July 24, 1949
There once was a driver named Archibald Frye,
Who bought the wrong gas, and of course he ran dry.
Said he in disgust,
As he missed the last bus,
“Next time it’s Signal Go-Farther I’ll buy!”
“Brotherly Hate” – July 31, 1949
There once was a driver named Abbott
Whose car took off like a rabbit.
“Signal Ethyl,” said he,
“Is the fuel for me.
From now I’ll make it a habit.”
“Trigger Man” – August 7, 1949
There once was a horse from Bombay
Who preferred Signal Ethyl to hay.
He was easy to ride;
You’d just cling to his hide
And step on the gas all the way!
“Best Friend” – August 14, 1949
If you really want to save money
Here’s a budget idea that’s a honey
Signal gas in your tank
Is like cash in the bank
Signal goes so much farther, tain’t funny!
“The Confession” – August 21, 1949
There was a young man from Delmar
Who traded his horse for a car.
After many a test,
He found Signal gas best,
‘Cause it made his car go so far.
“The Eager Pigeon” – August 28, 1949
Our car was anemic and slow
Till we gave it the gas with more go
On Signal Ethyl diet
When we park it, we tie it.
It doesn’t run fast, it flies low.
“Smart Girl” – September 4, 1949
A skeptical fellow named Starr
Tried out every gas in his car.
On business or pleasure,
His mileage he’d measure
And found Signal better by far!
“Smart Girl” – September 4, 1949
Said a thrifty young driver named Martin,
“I buy Signal gas in a carton.
It doesn’t take much,
For its mileage is such
That a savings account I am startin’.”
“Brief Pause for Murder” – September 11, 1949
There once was a man named Benbow
Whose gas tank would always run low.
Now he saved that bother,
And likewise goes farther.
With Signal, Benbow now saves dough.
“Brief Pause for Murder” – September 11, 1949
There once was a driver named Shuster
Who’s getting more miles than he uster.
Since Signal he’s tried,
His car is his pride,
And Shuster’s a Signal gas booster!
“Brief Pause for Murder” – September 11, 1949
There once was a trusty old steed
Who drank Signal gas with his feed.
They thought it would kill him,
But instead it did fill him
With pep and astonishing speed!
“Poor Henry” – September 18, 1949
A thrifty young fellow named Joe
When asked how he saved so much dough,
Said, “With Signal, my friend,
You go farther, no end.
You can bank on that, brother, I know!”
“Poor Henry” – September 18, 1949
There once was a farmer named Green
Who improved on his milking machine.
Using Signal for power,
Gets more milk per hour,
And half of the stuff is pure cream!
“Poor Henry” – September 18, 1949
Said Jack, “Not a cylinder’s hitten’
When I bought this old crate, I got bitten.”
Said Jill with a grin,
“You weren’t taken in,
Try Signal – she’ll purr like a kitten!”
“Incident at Arroyo Grande” – September 25, 1949
A man with the virtue of thrift
Decided to Signal he’d shift.
You should see how he smiles
As he drives extra miles
That with Signal he gets as a gift.
“A Woman’s Privilege” – October 2, 1949
There once was a camel named Flo
Whose mileage on water was low.
But this far-sighted lass
Switched to new Signal gas
And now she has get up and go.
“A Rose for Pamela” – October 9, 1949
A most thrifty young woman named Penny
Drove from Kalamazoo to Kilkenny.
She found, did this lass,
In checking her gas,
That Signal went farther than any.
“Best Man” – October 16, 1949
A visiting driver from Mars
Complained of Earth’s sluggish cars.
Then he tried Signal gas
And was last seen to pass
Three comets and two shooting stars!
“Debt of Honor” – October 23, 1949
A girl in a new car from Lancaster
Was chagrinned when an old flivver passed her.
Said the driver, “My lass,
If you’d use Signal gas,
You’d not only go farther, but faster!”
“Ticket to Murder” – October 30, 1949
My car seemed to need overhauling
The gas it consumed was appalling.
Then Signal I tried,
And now when I ride,
I can pay for my gas without bawling!
“The New Mrs. Devlin” – November 6, 1949
Said the man in the moon, with a sigh,
“If only some Signal they’d try,
They’d go farther by miles
Through these misty defiles
And catch that ghost herd in the sky!”
“Incident at Pebble Cove” – November 13, 1949
The rabbit looked simply aghast
As the tortoise went whizzing past.
Said bunny, “I know
What makes his crate go.
With Signal Go-Farther it’s gassed!”
“Letters from Aaron Burr” – November 20, 1949
A thrill-seeking driver named Pruitt
Was told Signal gasoline would do it.
So Pruitt did try it
And on this new diet
His old car took wing and he flew it!
“The Clever Mr. Farley” – November 27, 1949
There once was a fellow named Ewell
Whose auto ran just like a jewel.
When asked what the cause,
He said without pause,
“Why, Signal Go-Farther’s my fuel!”
“Impulse” – December 4, 1949
A teacher once asked of her class
“What’s the greatest invention since glass?”
Here’s the answer she got
From a smart little tot,
“It’s Signal, the go-farther gas!”
“Swan Song” – December 11, 1949
An unhappy driver named Joe
Never could make his old car go.
It used to be comic,
But now it’s atomic.
The Signal gas treatment, you know.
“Patroness of Murder” – December 18, 1949
Our old car had all it could take
There wasn’t a hill it would make.
Then with Signal we gassed her,
Now it runs so much faster
We drive with one foot on the brake.
“Letter from Cynthia” – December 25, 1949
Said Santa when boarding his sled
“This year, I’m using my head.
It’s Signal for me
I’ll go farther, you’ll see.”
And over the rooftops he sped.
“Letter from Cynthia” – December 25, 1949
A child asked his father one day
How St. Nick went so far on his sleigh.
The wise father replied,
“He can take that long ride
‘Cause his reindeer drink Signal, they say.”
“Evening Stroll” – January 1, 1950
Like the man on the flying trapeze,
You can drive with the greatest of ease.
If you’ll only be smart,
And right from the start,
Say, “Fill it with Signal gas, please!”
“Evening Stroll” – January 1, 1950
A man with a love for smooth driving
Found his car needed reviving.
He tried Signal gas,
And now he can pass
All road tests without even striving.
“Return to Riondo” – January 8, 1950
On the Whistler, the killers hold sway
They kill, but they don’t get away.
The sleuth on their trail
Soon lands them in jail,
‘Cause he fills up with Signal each day.
“Escape to Skull Island” – January 15, 1950
There was a young man from Montrose
Who couldn’t put thoughts into prose.
“Signal gas,” murmured he,
“Means Go-Farther to me.
Where it flows, mileage grows, goodness knows!”
“The Go-Between” – January 22, 1950
A sprightly old lady said, “Brother,
Use the Go-Farther gas, and no other.”
When asked why it was,
She said, “It’s because
I happen to be Whistler’s mother!”
“Burden of Guilt” – January 29, 1950
My ’38 car is a riot
It looks sad, and I won’t deny it.
But the way that old fossil
Performs is colossal
On a Signal Go-Farther gas diet.
“Ladies Man” – February 5, 1950
Unavailable
“Desert Reckoning” – February 12, 1950
With Signal, you too can be thrifty
So, if your old bus isn’t nifty,
Buy Go-Farther gas
For pickup and class,
And she’ll make like a new 1950!
“Five Cent Call” – February 19, 1950
A slick chick names Cynthi O’Farrell
Claimed gas costs kept her in a barrel.
Till to Signal she turned,
And rapidly learned
She could have both a car and apparel.
“Appointment for Murder” – February 26, 1950
After hearing the Whistler one night,
We tried Signal, and to our delight,
We find that our car
Goes farther by far,
Which proves the announcer is right.
“The Chinese Elephant Puzzle” – March 5, 1950
A salesman of fine reputation
Was driving all over the nation.
Said he in a letter,
“My car drives much better
On gas from a Signal Oil station.”
“Strange Meeting” – March 12, 1950
Gasoline bills had me near disaster
And my budget I just couldn’t master.
Then to Signal I switched,
Now my troubles I ditched,
For Signal goes farther and faster.
“The Orianna Affair” – March 19, 1950
A frugal young lad from this city
Spent so much on his car, ‘twas a pity.
He tried Signal one day,
Now he’s saving his pay
And his car purrs as smooth as a kitty.
“Lady in the Snow” – March 26, 1950
My jalopy’s a gallant old lass,
Though not in the Cadillac class.
Greater mileage I get,
And speed too, you bet,
When she’s filled up with good Signal gas.
“Lady With a Key” – April 2, 1950
Now all gather round while I tell
Why the gas that I use is so swell.
Takes you farther for less.
The brand? You can guess.
It’s spelled S-I-G-N-A-L.
“Dark Voyage” – April 9, 1950
Of Signal, I’d heard such great praise,
How a little goes such a long ways.
So I bought some to see.
Signal proved it to me.
Why, the saving is just like a raise.
Principled Thoughts 