(by Fred Santana)
Parents, please read!
With our youth soon heading off to college, it is critical that we are aware that up to 70% leave the church after high school. I know this number is alarming but it’s important to understand the reasons for it, and the actionable steps needed for prevention.
Please evaluate this research and prayerfully consider what you as a parent can do to stem the tide.
1) Why? Based on research, the reasons young people are leaving are varied but there seems to be a common theme. According to David Kinnaman, many young adults do not like the way churches appear to be against science. Over 33% of young adults said that “Christians are too confident they know all the answers” and 25% of them said that “Christianity is anti-science.” 29% of young Christians said “churches are afraid of the beliefs of other faiths” and feel they have to choose between their friends and their faith. Over 33% of young adults said they feel like they can’t ask life’s most pressing questions in church and 23% said they had “significant intellectual doubts” about their faith.
According to Steve Wright, 63% don’t believe Jesus is the Son of the one true God. 58% believe all faiths teach equally valid truths. 51% don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead. 65% don’t believe Satan is a real entity. 68% don’t believe the Holy Spirit is a real entity.
Now when we couple this lack of grounding in basic theology and apologetics with the findings of the beliefs (or lack thereof) of college and university professors, we have a recipe for disaster. According to Neil Gross, about 25% of college professors are professing atheists or agnostics (5-7% of the general population is atheistic or agnostic). Only 6% of college professors said the Bible is “the actual word of God”. 51% described it as “an ancient book of fables, legends, history and moral precepts.” 75% believe religion does not belong in public schools.
2) What can be done about it? Again, no one answer fits the bill but rather a multi pronged strategy is the best approach. First and foremost, parents must get involved! According to Patricia Snell, parents are the most crucial and powerful socializers in the lives of their adolescents. The adolescent years are not the time to disengage as a parent. Growing adolescent independence often necessitates negotiation. If adolescents experience parents who are religiously withdrawn and functionally absent, then the faith of an emerging adult likely will also be vacuous, directionless, and empty. The more adults involved in the lives of adolescents, the better off they will be.This will necessitate parents learning basic theology, apologetics and critical thinking.
Next, seek out a mentor. Not just someone your child likes or thinks is “cool” but rather someone who can teach, disciple, and mentor the basics of Scripture to them. This does not abdicate your responsibility as a parent; you should continue to monitor their progress and challenge them with questions to ensure they are on track.
Lastly, get involved with your youth ministries pastor as well as building relationships with campus ministries. Attend services, volunteer and connect with your child’s friends. If you feel that they are being fed too much spiritual “milk” and not enough meat, gently approach the pastor, not to complain but rather to suggest alternatives.
These suggestions are by no means a guarantee that a child will not drift away, but with attacks on our youth accelerating, we must be focused and intentional in our efforts to provide them with the best chance to survive in this post Christian era.
The following books are recommended reading for parents of High School and College youth.
1 – How to Stay Christian In College – J. Budziszewski , TH1NK Publishing (2014)
2 – You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church . . . and Rethinking Faith – David Kinnaman, Baker Books (2011)
3 – Rethink: Is Student Ministry Working? – Steve Wright, InQuest Ministries, Inc. (2007)
4 – How Religious are America’s College and University Professors? – Neil Gross, Solon Simmons (2006)
5 – Souls in Transition: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of Emerging Adults – Christian Smith, Patricia Snell (2009)
Principled Thoughts 