(by Jenny Abram)
Let’s play a game of pretend!
We have 3 choices for dinner:
1. Dog poop (Excuse me while I vomit.)
2. Cat poop (Excuse me while I vomit, again.)
3. Steak ‘n’ taters! (Yum!)
We’re all getting steak ‘n’ taters! Yay!!! But hold it! It’s not that easy. Dang it! We’ve been told these choices are up for a vote. Hew!!! No one’s gonna vote for dog or cat poop. Steak ‘n’ taters in the bag!
Time to give my ballot to the chef.
“What are you doing!!!”
Who, me?
“Yes, you! Don’t you know that there’s a bunch of people in here about to vote for us all to have dog poop for dinner?!”
Ok, that’s disgusting! They must be idiots!
“No, kidding! So here’s the deal. You gotta vote for cat poop, otherwise we’re stuck with dog poop.”
Say what!!! That’s just as bad! I want steak ‘n’ taters and that’s what I’m voting for.
“I know cat poop sucks, but it’s still way better than dog poop. If you vote steak ‘n’ taters, dog poop’s gonna win, because there’s not enough people voting for steak ‘n’ taters.”
Well, help me convince other people to vote for steak ‘n’ taters, because I really don’t want either of the poops! Poop is toxic! I don’t care if it’s in dog or cat form, it’s toxic!
“Steak ‘n’ taters doesn’t stand a chance, and you’re only going to get us stuck eating dog poop if you don’t vote the way the rest of us are voting.”
It’s not my fault if those people are stupid enough to want to eat dog poop; and it’s not my fault if you’re trying to fight their vote with your cat poop. I want steak ‘n’ taters, and we ain’t gonna get it if people don’t vote for it.
“I want steak ‘n’ taters too, but that’s just not reality!”
It could be if you help me vote for it and convince others to do so!
“I’d be wasting my vote. I’m sorry, if you’re foolish enough to vote for steak ‘n’ taters when no one else will, then it’s your fault if we have to eat dog poop.”
What in the world?!
Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? Or is it?
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Though it sounds preposterous that anyone would ever choose to eat dog or cat poop or even make one out worse than the other, I guarantee you there are people out there that are doing just that.
The poor guy just wants steak ‘n’ taters and he’s voting for it. Many other people want steak ‘n’ taters too, but they’re refusing to vote for it. But they want to blame those voting for steak ‘n’ taters as being responsible for everyone getting dog poop. Little do they seem to realize that it’s not the poor guys’ fault other people are voting for poop from various sources. And the unfortunate soul realizes that he’s gonna have to eat poop of some sort because no one wants to help him vote for the steak ‘n’ taters.
A question the people voting for cat poop never ask themselves is this: “If it’s the steak ‘n’ taters voters’ fault that everyone gets dog poop, who’s fault is it that no one gets to enjoy steak ‘n’ taters for dinner?” Obviously, the guys voting for steak ‘n’ taters aren’t at fault for losing out on that delicacy, but everyone who didn’t vote for steak ‘n’ taters is responsible for everyone missing out on steak ‘n’ taters.
If you vote for poop, expect to get what you vote for. If you don’t get steak ‘n’ taters, blame yourself for not getting it because you refused to vote for it. You wanted the cat poop instead, even though you really didn’t want cat poop.
If the people arguing to change the steak ‘n’ taters voters’ minds would instead turn around and try to change the cat poop voters’ minds, maybe everybody would get steak ‘n’ taters. But for some very strange and unfathomable reason, these people would rather convince steak ‘n’ taters voters to vote for cat poop. There’s no sane logic in that, and it’s unexplainable. The people who do this could only rightly be described as insane, because there’s no sanity to that way of thinking. And there’s no excuse for it.
This is the sad reality of modern day Christians.
Why are you cat poop voters so adamant about getting everyone to vote for poop when you could be just as adamant about getting everyone to vote for steak ‘n’ taters and possibly get steak ‘n’ taters? You have the ability to get steak ‘n’ taters if you start voting that way, but once you start voting for poop and convincing others to vote for poop, you lose! You get poop! Be it dog or cat poop, poop is toxic to you and everyone else.
Dang it! I and so many other people are sick and tired of eating the poop you voted for, because it’s never been any better than the other version of poop though you claim it to be.
I want some steak ‘n’ taters already! Start voting for it before you and your poop voting base kill us with all the toxicity.
If you want steak ‘n’ taters, vote for it and encourage others to vote for it, that’s the only way you’re going to get it! You’re never going to get the good stuff when you keep voting for the toxic stuff!
And stop blaming us steak ‘n’ tater voters for getting the dog poop when we didn’t vote for the dog poop. You wanna blame someone for the dog poop, blame the people who actually voted for dog poop and help us vote for steak ‘n’ taters. After all, if you vote for steak ‘n’ taters, the worst that’s gonna happen is you lose and get poop. But if you vote for poop and you win, you still get poop. Vote for the steak ‘n’ taters, PLEASE!!! Surely you have to be tired of eating poop!
Principled Thoughts 